You may be communicating poorly even without saying anything if you don't pay attention to two aspects of nonverbal communication.
A touch. A handshake. A pat on the back. A hug.
And the gaze. Eye contact. Or the lack thereof.
So here we go:
Touch is one of the most sensitive social signals that exist.
For example, the most common one, the handshake.
When done firmly, it conveys confidence and presence.
But if you push too hard, it can be interpreted as arrogance or defiance.
The hug.
When it happens in the right context, with the right person, it conveys warmth and connection.
But at the wrong time it can be perceived as an invasion of space or excessive intimacy.
And that famous pat on the back? It's the same thing.
What matters is the context. And we can think about a few factors. Hierarchy in a work environment, culture (in São Paulo it's one kiss, in Rio it's two), gender – women interact differently than men, level of closeness, of intimacy, the place (at the beach it's one thing, at work it's another).
There is no formula, no ready-made recipe. You need to read the environment, observe, understand the context.
And the gaze?
Eye contact is what most clearly marks your presence.
Avoiding eye contact can be interpreted as insecurity, lack of preparation, and also as disinterest or contempt.
Now, staring excessively intently isn't good either. It creates discomfort and pressure.
I have a friend who does this: he widens his eyes and stares. It's very strange. He's a good guy, but that look in his eyes is odd.
The balance lies in two points: look attentively when listening and when speaking directly to the other person, and look away when thinking, recalling a memory, or reasoning about an idea, but then return your gaze.
Raising awareness of the importance of how and when to touch another person and how to direct your gaze contributes greatly to being well understood.
Because good communication isn't just about words.
It is also made of perception.
And this perception is largely constructed by nonverbal cues like these.
When in doubt, opt for a firm handshake that's just right and eye contact. That will put you in a good position.
And these gestures make any conversation start and end much better.